TERORISTANG AMO

Ayan nakapagpost uli ako dito,
Lately I feel so tired
ayoko na sana kaya lang ang tanga ko din nagpapigil pa ako
akala ko kasi kaya ko pa
pero ngayon ko lang narealize na di na pala
ayoko na ngang pumasok ang lunes eh
kasi bibweltahan nanaman nya ako
nalulungkot ako kasi twing kausap nya ako feeling ko ang engot ko
minsan nag-iisip ako kung naiisip nya ang epekto ng mga sinasabi nya.
Kanina habang nagdadsal di ko mapigilang umiyak, kasi naman nagawa ko na lahat ng kaya ko para magkasundo kami, unfortunately wala mali pa din ako.
Ang sabi nya sa akin dati magkaroon daw kami ng communication, pero pucha paano naman ako makikipagcommunicate eh saksakan naman ng pagka antipatika sya, lahat ng sabihin ko pota mali!
Minsan pag kinakausap nya ako gusto kontg sumigaw ng bonggang bongga at sabihin na "oo na ikaw na ang tama at ako ang tanga"
dati di ako naniniwala sa pagiging terorista ng isang amo pero ngayon pucha oo na.
Ayoko ana maging nega pero juice me grabe nag uumapaw ang kasamaan ng ugali nya kakainis.
Minsan naiisip ko kung napapakinggan ba ako ni Lord kasi ilang beses ko na syang pinagdasal kako Lord sana po marealize ni Mam na nakakasakit po sya. Na konti nalang po o bukas makalawa baka mawalan na sya ng mga empleyado.
Hayy ayoko na mamaya bebenggahin nanaman nya ako ayoko na talaga.

First!

First!

First writing for this year!
First attempt ever to get out of something!
First time to have someone said "you suck"
First time I have ever felt to say the same thing!

First time to tremble when this particular person comes in..
First time to pray sooo hard just to achieve an escape
First time to admit to myself that I am sometimes weak
First time to say all of these.

First time first ever doing this.

Before the year ends.......

Dear Dianne,

I know you are very confused now, still I am proud of you even if you are and you have been in low spirit for quite sometime, you still manage to dream and make your parents, siblings and friends happy.
I know that you have been unhappy since you met your boss, still you continue to understand and pray for her, even if she kept on bringing you down and make your day miserable, you never forgot to wish her well. you even dream of one day, one day you'll understand each other, she'll tell you of what is wrong with you in a very nice way not in a traumatic way, one day she'll say, good job! but I guess you're losing hope right now, all you can think of is escape.
I can't blame you.
It must have been hard for you not to think of your self first, you were always thinking of your family, no boys for now, you kept on concentrating your studies, not because you were after the honor, popularity and medal it's because you were too determined to find a good job after graduation.
You didn't go to the theater even if you know you loved that, you went to an office thinking you can get a higher salary and eventually, you'll be of help to your parents, unfortunately, you feel awful now. I am sorry.
And now, even if your spirit is low, you thank God that everyday there He is, still trusting you, keeping you on the road. Dianne you can still do it, if she doesn't trust you, Father will be there for you, just keep trusting yourself, you are creative and resourceful. Madami ka ng pinagdaanan, ngayon ka pa susuko?

Sincerely,
Yourself

the pictures were taken at Astoria, they have a very cozy bedroom, which i wish i had slept on, unfortunately, I did'nt bring my pajamas, the emote photo were taken by Jovy. All in all our Christmas party was awesome. masaya rin pala sila kasama!

Dear Lord,

This is a long overdue already, sorry for this late letter, I should have done this before. I just want to thank you for everything. Since I started schooling you have been so great to me, I have passed those with flying colors, without Your intervention I could have not done it. Dear Lord, you know for a fact that eversince I was little I worked so hard because my main goal was help my parents, I want them to experience traveling and leisure before its too late, they have worked so hard for us specially for me, You know that we have less resources still you permitted me to go to that expensive school. Thank you Lord for giving me a job, I know that there are alot of jobless people out there and yet here I am continously receiving your gifts and graces, yet instead of thanking you and thinking of ways how can to share them, here I am praying of what to do, confused and frustrated.
Dear Lord you know how I worked, I worked so much not because I want to get more money, I worked so much not just to protect my name but most specially I wanted to help, I get too frustrated because I have done so much and the return is too little, I am not complaining oh Lord I am just wondering where did I go wrong? Were my decisions wrong at all? There is no turning back this time. I need you oh Lord, I am so confused. Please Lord I beg you.

may katabi akong parating nakasimangot

Nakakapagtaka kung paano nakaksimangot nang matagal ang isang tao.
Sa isang katulad ko na mas pinili ang ngumiti kesa ang sumimangot at magmaktol sa di ko naman mawari kung bakit syan ganuon.
Di ba mas nakakpagod ang nakasimangot kesa ngumiti? nakakaloka itong isang ito. Panginoon ko sana naman po marealize nya na di masyadong bet sa corporate world ang parating nakasimangot at higit sa lahat di rin healthy sa mga kagrupo nya ang ginagawa nya. AMEN

Update ng isang walang maisulat

Wala nanaman akong masulat, ewan ko ba lately madami akong naiisip na isulat, pero sa twing magtatype ako ayun biglang nagfe-fade... hahaha sya nga pala may mga magagandang nangyari sa buhay ko lately, maganda in a sence na nuon ko pa itong pinangarap at pinagdasal sa Kanya, pero hindi ko akalain na bigla nalang nyang ibibigay, pero sa ibang form kumbaga-- not as exact as what I have dreamt but never the less masaya pa din ako, kasi alam ko this time machachallenge nanaman ako at pati ang malikot kong imahinasyon, may pinadala saken na link ang isa sa pinakamahusay kong kaibigan, yun yung Excuses for NOT Making Ideas Happen -- ang saklap! kasi dun sa mga nakasulat lahat yun parang batong ipunupukol sa akin-- dati akala ko malakas ang loob ko na para bang kaya kong harapin ang anumang klase ng bagay, pero simula ng makapagtrabaho ako parang laht ng lakas ng loob ko nagdeteriorate-- ang taas pala ng insecurity ko hahaha, am worrying too much mygaddd..

Ayan sandali lang akong nahinto nawala nanamn ako sa serkulasyon....
para bang minsan punong-puno ang utak ko tapos sa isang iglap nawawala nalang lalo na pag may nahahalong ibang bagay hayyyyy.