Working like this is my last day

Yup, you've read that right! Lately, i have been feeling sluggish and empty. I just said to myself that this work brings the worst in me. I was fed up; yes! and there are a lot of reasons why.. mention about salary, benefits and this damn work load.

I have submitted my CV all over the place, luckily I was interviewed. So to say, the interview went well, there's no result yet. but I think I'm through for the first one-- there's another one I think.

As I 'am gearing up for another interview, I was dreaming every morning that this must be my last morning here in my work, As I might be working the next few days to another one. Thinking that way, it instantly boozes my good mood towards work. Imagine, last day of working, thinking of what to do next to promote something, plus imagining that finally you can have a REST every saturdays... hayyyyy.That's enough reason to feel really GOOD!

It's been a week and the prospect employer hasn't called yet...yes I'am still waiting! but bearing in mind that this could be my last day (hopefully) truly revs up my conscious state of mind.

Who knows how long it will work? But for now I am good at this. and yes! I am still working as if this is my last day!

Lord, would it be too much if I ask you to please grant my prayer? just this one Lord. I know your plans is much better than I have, but I have been on this agony for quite sometime... You said, ask and you shall receive. Lord I humbly ask for your enlightenment. I'm worried that this point in time, I may decide based on my feelings alone, I may forget or hurt someone base on my unruly decisions.

Could this be..... Love? again???

Recently, my mind can't stop from wandering...
Thinking of his image makes my spine quiver....
Even if I close my eyes, I think I can still hear him..
Even in my dreams, I secretly wished that It would be him...

For no reason, I just want to see him..
Just the sight of him makes me feel complete..
Even if he doesn't speak to me nor look at me, just a glance of him
I feel complete..

No matter what I do..
even if I divert my mind into the things that I suppose to do
I can't seem to concentrate
It seemed that he's just around my head,
like a cd that keeps on spinning,
like a song that will never fade
like a dance that no one will ever get tired or dancing..

This is it....
I know that there's a big chance of hurting again...
My red flag is up... again..

Again... my heart is just ready to take a step..
A step that can make or break
myself....

Am about to start a new phase in my life, hope it'll turn out right.

No this isn't a career move, more than that..

I will try to compete against myself...

For years, I have been fat

yes! FAT as in mataba

I have been in this figure for years already,

I have tried all sorts of diet but when hunger strikes, I suddenly forgot the regimen.

Soo...

When I came into a promo sort of thing...

I didn't think twice...

This is just a huge leap

Crossing my fingers that this will be successful

hopefully

Ang peg ko for this day

Ngayong araw na to' for once ayokong gumawa ng kahit na ano

Gusto ko sanang mag unwind

Pero paano ko naman gagawin yun kung wala akong pang unwind

Gusto ko sanang pumunta ng Quiapo para bumili ng pirated dvds

Pero hindi naman sumasagot si Dominic

Gusto ko sanag mag sentimiento na wala na akong pera

Pero alam ko naman na di ginusto ni Mama na makapos kami

Gusto ko sana maghanap nalang ng trabaho

Pero paano ko gagawin yun? di naman kaya ng konsensya ko

Gusto kong sumaya

Pero ang hirap

Gusto ko sanag mawala ng parang bula

Pero paano ko naman gagawin yun?

This is it!!

Kinakabahan nanaman ako...

Parang may mangyayari nanaman

Parang may pasabog nanaman sa buhay ko later.

Nakaka kaba

Shettttt

Gusto ko ng lumipat ng trabaho...

Dati gusto kong lumipat ng trabaho dahil gusto kong tumakas

Pero ngayon gusto kong umalis dito para maka pag move on na

Dati gusto kong umalis na dito dahil naniniwala akong monster si boss

pero ngayon parang naiintindihan ko na kung bakit may mga outbursts sya

Dati gusto kong lumayas dito kasi di kami magkasundo ng amo ko

Ngayon alam ko na ang pinag uugatan nito --- yung teammate ko

Dati gusto ko ng umalis dito para makahanap ng mataas na sahod

Ngayon-- ganun pa din rason ko :))

Ang dami kong dahilan nuon para umalis, pero hanggang ngayon andito pa din ako...

Alam kong may dahilan si Lord kung bakit andito pa din ako. Oo mahirap tanggapin, pero ano naman bang magagawa ko? Pero sa totoo lang kahit na mahirap atleast madami akong natutuhan, di rin minsan maiwasan na masigawan, mamura, may madisppoint pero at the end ok lang. Sana soon makahanap na ko ng malilipatan.