2 days before christmas
all alone hre in the office doing petiks hahahaha and emoting......

I finally realize that this season shoud be celebrated more than gift giving.. its about our Lord
I finally realize that I have to think atleast three times and reflect before I speak and decide
I finally realize that I have to take care of myself and my parents too
I finally realize that I need to be humble
I finally realize that I have to learn more by means of studying
I finally realize that I have to go out more with friends
I finally realize that I have to treat myself often

turning point

Its really hard to accept something, specially when your mind is withrawing the idea of it.
Shit am running out of words, my emotions tend to explode again.
I cant understand why my heart beats like this, its as if it wants to get out of my chest.
My mind is processing millions of words that i'm unable to write....
hayyyyyyy i have to end this, i might get somewhere scary if i'll pull through with this...
Oh God help me please....please

hayyyy

shocks, Eto na nga ba ang sinasabi ko
I'll end up doing the something I promised not to do...
I've searched for his name again... ayoko na sana kaya lang
Feeling ko namimiss ko sya...
Maybe Abby was right it just a matter of acceptance that you will never forget him.
Kahit yata patuwad akong matulog sa gabi eh sya pa rin ang maalala ko,
ang malala nyan sya rin ang nasa isip ko at lihim na dinadsal na sana mapanaginipan ko sya
Kahit na horror pa yan o suspense...


Nakakatawa kahit ako natatawa ako sa mga inimagine ko hayyyyy

Last Saturday Dominic visited me sa house, He was complaining how he he was being trnsferred from the current position he was holding, he said it was really abrupt, he was about to say no but appently he said he couldnt, that why he came to my place he was urging me to teach him how to make some paper works hahahha meaning how to use the excel and powerpoint.

hay he was the same Dominic I met way for about some 4 years ago if my math is right hihihi he still the same guy or girl or whatever whose always making kulit to me because of something, but never the less he never forget to say Thank you.

I remember when we where in college and the hit of Koreanovela just knocked us out, well basically its because this new approach on acting and ofcourse the bidas there is really cute and for us in our barkada who were hopeless romantic, It was so easy for us to relate, and there was Nico who was like a google that updates us immediately and not to mention drag us to Divi Mall where we can buy or purchase this complete set of the show. I remember our ritual every Sunday, after NSTP we'd go for Quiapo to eat and roam around hihihi.
How I miss those pals. I wish I could turn the time back.

Miss you Nico,Abby, Xhy, Xielle, Len, Ann

Last night while on the bus I remembered that I have a packaged waiting coming from my Pa, it was the rubber shoes that I have been waiting for quite some time, upon remembering this I got so excited that I almost want to ask the driver of the bus to go faster, ofcourse i coudnt do that and never will I. Upon arriving in our house my sister excitedly embraced me and said that the shoes were really good, and yup she was really right, It was even great, I texted my father immediately to say my thankyou and congratulate him because he evolved already from being baduy to fashionista, so there, i'm planning where and when.

So i thought it would be a very good night......

Did I mention that I have a reflux? I was told by my physician to lessen the sweets specially chocolates as it contributes largely to the production of mucus making me cough more. so its what I did I lessen it and as much as possible I stayed away from it.
Unluckily it was one of the packages that was sent by Papa so after dinner everybody was waiting for the sweets as panghimagas, everyone knew my health situation. I said to my mom "pahingi ako nyan bukas ah isa lang titikman ko lang" i was really surprised to their reaction, talagang ayaw magbigay ng mga hitad my mom said No immmediately and said na bawal followed by loud voices from my Ninang and my sister. As always i immediately felt pikon I was really pissed off, they could have said it on a nicer way and besides my doctor told me taht i was never bawal on those kinds of food i just have to lessen it. i really felt bad. hayy

deppressed and weary

My eyes hurts again, sumasakit nanamna sya malamang kakabasa ko ng blog ni John Lapus, nakakaaliw yung baklang yun, nakakatuwa kasi hindi nya kinahiya yung pinanggalingan nya. Kahit na mahirap lang sila eh talagang nagpunyagi sya.

Pag gising ko kanina pa lang umaga mabigat na pakiramdam ko, hindi dahil sa puyat dahil kagabi naglamay kami sa tito ko he died because of stroke, he one of the closest cousins ng papa. Kasi nung pag gising ko naalala ko ang liit ng sahod ko, nalungkot ako mas maliit pa ito kaysa sa kinikita ko dati, hindi ko tuloy maibili manlang ang sarili ko ng gamit, naaawa ako sa sarili ko ngayon naturingang may pinag aralan pero heto nag titiis sa ganitong trabaho.

Hindi ko pwedeng i-deny o itago sa sarili ko ang mga desisyon ko na sana pinag isipan ko ng husto katulad ng:
-sana hindi ako nagpadalos dalos
- ano kaya kung andoon pa ko?
-sana yung OT ko may malaking bayad
- sana may mga libre akong tickets ngayon
- sana may cellphone akong bago
- sana parati akong nakakagimik

hay ...oo may mga bagay akong pinagsisihan ngayon pero ang pinakaimportante ay ang humanap ng solusyon. Oo hahanap ako ng solusyon sa problema ko, may awa naman ang Dyos at higit sa lahat may tiwala ako kanya.