Before the year ends.......

Dear Dianne,

I know you are very confused now, still I am proud of you even if you are and you have been in low spirit for quite sometime, you still manage to dream and make your parents, siblings and friends happy.
I know that you have been unhappy since you met your boss, still you continue to understand and pray for her, even if she kept on bringing you down and make your day miserable, you never forgot to wish her well. you even dream of one day, one day you'll understand each other, she'll tell you of what is wrong with you in a very nice way not in a traumatic way, one day she'll say, good job! but I guess you're losing hope right now, all you can think of is escape.
I can't blame you.
It must have been hard for you not to think of your self first, you were always thinking of your family, no boys for now, you kept on concentrating your studies, not because you were after the honor, popularity and medal it's because you were too determined to find a good job after graduation.
You didn't go to the theater even if you know you loved that, you went to an office thinking you can get a higher salary and eventually, you'll be of help to your parents, unfortunately, you feel awful now. I am sorry.
And now, even if your spirit is low, you thank God that everyday there He is, still trusting you, keeping you on the road. Dianne you can still do it, if she doesn't trust you, Father will be there for you, just keep trusting yourself, you are creative and resourceful. Madami ka ng pinagdaanan, ngayon ka pa susuko?

Sincerely,
Yourself

the pictures were taken at Astoria, they have a very cozy bedroom, which i wish i had slept on, unfortunately, I did'nt bring my pajamas, the emote photo were taken by Jovy. All in all our Christmas party was awesome. masaya rin pala sila kasama!

Dear Lord,

This is a long overdue already, sorry for this late letter, I should have done this before. I just want to thank you for everything. Since I started schooling you have been so great to me, I have passed those with flying colors, without Your intervention I could have not done it. Dear Lord, you know for a fact that eversince I was little I worked so hard because my main goal was help my parents, I want them to experience traveling and leisure before its too late, they have worked so hard for us specially for me, You know that we have less resources still you permitted me to go to that expensive school. Thank you Lord for giving me a job, I know that there are alot of jobless people out there and yet here I am continously receiving your gifts and graces, yet instead of thanking you and thinking of ways how can to share them, here I am praying of what to do, confused and frustrated.
Dear Lord you know how I worked, I worked so much not because I want to get more money, I worked so much not just to protect my name but most specially I wanted to help, I get too frustrated because I have done so much and the return is too little, I am not complaining oh Lord I am just wondering where did I go wrong? Were my decisions wrong at all? There is no turning back this time. I need you oh Lord, I am so confused. Please Lord I beg you.

may katabi akong parating nakasimangot

Nakakapagtaka kung paano nakaksimangot nang matagal ang isang tao.
Sa isang katulad ko na mas pinili ang ngumiti kesa ang sumimangot at magmaktol sa di ko naman mawari kung bakit syan ganuon.
Di ba mas nakakpagod ang nakasimangot kesa ngumiti? nakakaloka itong isang ito. Panginoon ko sana naman po marealize nya na di masyadong bet sa corporate world ang parating nakasimangot at higit sa lahat di rin healthy sa mga kagrupo nya ang ginagawa nya. AMEN

Update ng isang walang maisulat

Wala nanaman akong masulat, ewan ko ba lately madami akong naiisip na isulat, pero sa twing magtatype ako ayun biglang nagfe-fade... hahaha sya nga pala may mga magagandang nangyari sa buhay ko lately, maganda in a sence na nuon ko pa itong pinangarap at pinagdasal sa Kanya, pero hindi ko akalain na bigla nalang nyang ibibigay, pero sa ibang form kumbaga-- not as exact as what I have dreamt but never the less masaya pa din ako, kasi alam ko this time machachallenge nanaman ako at pati ang malikot kong imahinasyon, may pinadala saken na link ang isa sa pinakamahusay kong kaibigan, yun yung Excuses for NOT Making Ideas Happen -- ang saklap! kasi dun sa mga nakasulat lahat yun parang batong ipunupukol sa akin-- dati akala ko malakas ang loob ko na para bang kaya kong harapin ang anumang klase ng bagay, pero simula ng makapagtrabaho ako parang laht ng lakas ng loob ko nagdeteriorate-- ang taas pala ng insecurity ko hahaha, am worrying too much mygaddd..

Ayan sandali lang akong nahinto nawala nanamn ako sa serkulasyon....
para bang minsan punong-puno ang utak ko tapos sa isang iglap nawawala nalang lalo na pag may nahahalong ibang bagay hayyyyy.

Na naman

Naiisip ko na naman sya..
Sa mga ganitong wala na akong magawa bigla na lang syang bubulaga
Nakakainis wala akong magawa
Nakakapagod na din, pero ano naman ang gagawin ko?
Pag ganitong makulimlim at parang sumisipol ang tunog ng hangin parang may kung anung bulong ang hangin sa akin
Ang daya naman!
Ako nalang ng ako

Nag-eemote nanaman ako....
Parang tanga na natatawa sa mga sinasabi ng isip ko
Pero sa totoo lang kinikilig ako sa mga munting storya na ginagawa ng malikot kong isip.

Kamusta na kaya sya?
Ano na kaya ang ginagawa nya?
Baka madaming kausap
O baka naman bugnot sya ngayon?

Hay naku naman nagpoprocess nanaman ang utak ko at nagrerevolve sa kanya....
Hay buhay... na naman....

Going back to roots

ang cute pala nung PT ng SPARC hehehe

syempre todo emote kami ng writer namin, yung dalawa naman naming kasama nagpose hayyyy

of course i wont let the day pass without trying my hoop

awww

Suddenly!

Suddenly!

Just suddenly, I have itched to write

Just at this moment I want to let out of my feeling

At this minute I just want to exhale

At this spur of the moment I want to close my eyes and just be silent

At this day I just want to be calm, relax and breathe out all my inhibitions.

yikes I sounded like am getting old ;-) but heck am sooooo tamad this Monday morning ......

I'm blessed!

I'm lucky to have parents like my parents! hahaha, wala lang i just want to share this.
As I'am doing the mtv for my boss, I wasnt expecting this, not all of my target particiapants would participate, so ayun na nga, for like yesterday it was one of the happiest day of my life I felt that it was very liberating, imagine I got to direct and talked to one of the executives here, giving them directions on how to react infront of the camera-- so to say that yesterday was really cool! kaninag umaga-- I started the shoot with one of the heartrobs here so to speak and he was very cooperative, then shoot to Customer service and and then another team head and poof my asst manager texted me and told me I had to go down now as he was expecting me at that very moment, coming from 18th floor I wanna fly from this floor and go now to the 6th which he currnetly resides.

So i was there--- spoke with his secretary and introduced myself properly, the secretary told me that he was talking with someone and ask me if its ok to wait-- and ofcourse it was really ok --- as I was just asking a favor.
so I wait
I waited
then I waited
then I had to go to the loo as I was about to pea
then I waited again
then finally, he hangs up the phone!!
Mabuhay!!
ayun!!


The secretary knocked at his door and told him that I'm already waiting for him.
To my surprise, he didnt even let me finish to what I'm going to say, he just called me and then told me "Something came up, I'm not in the mood to do that, I'm not going to that shoot".
Flabbergasted.
my mouth just opened and uttered few words " ah ok, maraming salamat!" then walked away.

As I was riding the elevator I whispered a prayer thanking God that my parents taught me right manners, they taught me how to speak to people, even if I'm not in the good mood, they taight me very well how to handle situations that are very difficult to deal with. Thank God my parents reiterated to me that no matter how I hated a person or people I need to respect them and speak to them nicely.

Thank you Lord Iam sooo blessed.

Forget her not

I couldn’t think of anything today but to finish my goal which is doing a video dedicated for my boss, FYI she’s leaving us this Friday. I’m writing this now with earphones on my ear thinking of the sequences and types of shots that should be in that video, I want it to be special cheesy as it may seem I really want it to be perfect just to show her how much I appreciate her.

No its not what you think! We dont have a perfect relationship, she aint sweet, she aint have a heart sometimes, but heck she's one of the best boss i have ever met, sometimes she doesn't have patience, she screams when she feels frustrated, she hates it when we dont read and answer her emails but despite that she has been our cheerleader, our department's lawyer, our super hero....... and now I just can't help but miss her.

I will not forget her, she was the first person in my life to tell me that sometimes I sucked, it totally hurt me but hell that was true at that time, she was the only person to scream at me in the middle of the night just because I didn't read my email and follow her instructions. but you know what, she served as a constant reminder that I need to learn more, strive for more and never settle in mediocrity, she taught me to be professional.

I will surely miss her. I'll miss her calling me in the morning "chuchubelles".
I'll miss her panic buttons.

I'll just miss her.

hopeless romantic mode

kung iyong mamarapatin
ikay aking iibigin
kung iyong pahihintulutan
ikay itatangi ko lamang
kung aking puso'y tatanggapin
anung saya ng aking damdamin.

Date with my bestfriend tom

Oh heck I forgot Am about to show pics for tom's date with nico.
Did i ever mentioned that Nico is one of good hell photog? wooooohoooo am excited for tomorrow!!
Mwah ♥

welcome back!!!

Yey! its been a loooooonnngggg time!!! Mabuhay hehehe, after sooo loong of itching to write but my laziness gets in the way and poof! I drowsed in the lazy river!
So how was my life after the last blog? Well its always been crazy, as I was crazy, been familiarized in the hospital for quite some time-- seeing different kinds of doctors everyday, some of them very vain (as in di ko kinaya ang pagkavain nila from fashion statements to theyre never ending tantrums and nuances), some of them are conservative, most of them are young at heart, theyre usually nervous to learn that they'll be facing cameras but never the less they like the idea! hehe. Uhm ano pa ba? Some of them are not clockwatchers -- meaning pag iinatyin ka nila ng bonggang bongga, and most of all I have met some potential artista -- meaning mga pogi na matatalino at the same time alam mong lalake hehehe.

Next experience-- Accounting, wiiner din dito ang Accounting -- theyre very old fashioned, parang pagong ang process but never the less I understand that , theyre just making sure that we spend the right amount of money on a certain project and most of all "sinusunod lang nila ang utos sa kanila".

Next would be my katigasan ng ulo sa hindi pagsunod sa utos na mag uniform-- Gosh i really dont like it... I make sure everyday not to pass by HRD fearing they might ask me again why I am not in my uniform hehehe... Ofcourse I cant tell them na nyonyet ang uniporme, di bagay sa age ko, masisira ang porma ko hehee bawas ganda points ba. I wont ever tell them that pero naman kasi susme bakit ba nauso ang ganung design hehehe.

Next-- I am very happy that everyone in the department acts like my brothers and sisters, we can exchange our secrets and problems. hehehe nakaktuwa sila, I'm very happy I just met them and working with them.

Next-- Cant think of anything else... I guess im just bored and hungry right now. I wish Its 12noon already so I can have my meal......

mediocre

masarap din palang maging mediocre for quite sometime yun minsan carry carry lang yung ginagawa mo, yung tipong ginagawa mo lang sya just for the sake of it. pero nakakatakot din kasi pag madalas mo na syang ginagawa medyo nakakasanay na rin, parang yun na yung nagiging sistema mo.

pagkagrad ko ang pinaka mariin kong sinabi sa sarili ko eh never akong magiging mediocre, but what the heck the circumstances that happened to me made me to response like this. I know, I know its my fault I've been careless and insensitive not to mention I've been conceited at the same time. All I know was to blame people around me, which now I realize that it was so wrong.

now the scenario that happened to me made me realize to stop acting like this. if i want to reach my goal, I should put extra effort and of course put alot of sacrifices. i know it sounds cheesy, but on what I have experienced this the best solution.